Diary of a Soldiers wife...

Hi everyone. I know i have not been on here for a while... But been really busy with shaun gone and all, trying to take care of the home front for him... But anyways. I am okay... I miss you guys. I will talk to you all later. *Mwah!*

It is to hard to tell you... I have said so many absent minded things to people. I have hurt people with my words... And i am sorry for that. But anger is a serious issue... 

I just had Brandon tell me that his son would laugh at me b/c of the way i look. I know he was just kidding... but that was still harsh. But oh well i know i am BEAUTIFUL... i look kinda funny this morning though. MY HAIR IS BUSHY LOL... But oh well.

Jackie

Him: I'm Sorry

Her: Really?

She Thinks * Not Again*

Him* I really Messed Up*

She was silent

Him; I will Be Home In 19 wks...

Her; Promise

Him: I swear

She hears his pain, Feels his tears

She Cries

Him; *i wish i was there to hold her*

Her * I hope he knows he holds my heart*

Silence grasps the moment... speachless for a moment that feels like a life time of silence...

Her: I love You

Him: I know... when i said forever i meant it...

She closes her eyes, and not even a moment of doubt she forgives him... If even this is not the first time... she knows her soul craves him.

Him: I love you too!

 

- We all mess up sometimes: you are only strong when you are able to bring yourself to the point of forgiveness... When you can see past Faults, flaws, and remember the good times, instead of thinking of all the times that they let you down and broke your heart.

- No one is perfect... that is the joy of love, and the other kind of pain

I miss shaun... He has been gone for a while. I am not used of this... He is going to come home. I believe in him... And that is what is going to bring him home. My days are long, the nights are even harder!!! But i am an army wife... and you know what... I did it because i am strong.  

I LOVE MY SOLDIER... COME HOME SOON BABE...

I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

LOVE YOU SHAUN...

That writters block got me thinking... i have done a lot of things that i am not proud of... 
There is always something people wish they could change... and am like OMG i have a 
Lot of those... I have so many moments where it is like ummm i should have said something
but then there are the days that are like you are just trying to justify it so it doesnt ERK at your
brain.

I feel bad... 

But hey cant feel sorry for yourself.... Not enough time for fuck ups... Excuse the language...
But the only thing that explains it

Jackie

 Oh gosh too many things... But what is unsaid could never speak for itself in actions.

Every moment that you are gone,
my heart breaks...
I wonder if i am strong enough?
Do i really have what it takes?

I try to be there for you,
as i always will...
this empty gap in my heart,
only you fill...

I love you so much
You are my soldier, my hero, 
my husband, my life;
You are my best friend
And i will always be your wife.

I promise to you this...
I will always listen to what you say,
i will NEVER let you down
i will NEVER turn you away!!!

I love you more then anything
i love you more then life
i love you more then you know
that is why i became your wife...

Love Always,
                       Jacqueline Just


 

Every moment that you are gone,
my heart breaks...
I wonder if i am strong enough?
Do i really have what it takes?

I try to be there for you,
as i always will...
this empty gap in my heart,
only you fill...

I love you so much
You are my soldier, my hero, 
my husband, my life;
You are my best friend
And i will always be your wife.

I promise to you this...
I will always listen to what you say,
i will NEVER let you down
i will NEVER turn you away!!!

I love you more then anything
i love you more then life
i love you more then you know
that is why i became your wife...

Love Always,
                       Jacqueline Just

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I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping...  My soldier is gone... and i am at home myself... i didnt think it would be this hard... But it is. I wake up because in my sleep i roll over to hug him... and my hand just falls on the bed.. I have been waking up and just sitting up for like 2 hours... But I have to stay strong... That is what i promised myself. These tears are not going to bring him home.

You dont know what you have until it is gone... i tell you when he gets home next year i am going to be so happy. I am already counting down the days until his R And R then i can just hold him and hug him and kiss him!!!  My gosh he has only been gone for like 3 weeks... but that is eternity for me... He is in training right now. All the times that he has called he has never once complained... all he says is yeah it is hard but worth it. He is my HERO And i love him so much. I get to talk to him a lot though. And that is my sanity.

I talked to my father in law... He didn't have much to say. And i didnt either... i just dont talk too long because i am still adjusting to shaun being gone. Laura said that i can come over when ever i feel like it... she said she doesnt care if it is 3 am if i need someone to talk to she will be there for me. God i love her!!! I never realized how good of a friend she is.

i better go though. I have to be at work at 3!!!!

Love you all,
Jackie

Hello everyone...
                              Shaun left for training... he will be heading to Iraq... that was the saddest moment of my life... the time with him seemed so short... i was trying so hard not to cry that whole day but i broke down anyways. ;( I miss him so much... this has already been so hard for us. We have never really been apart.

                                


                                 Shaun held on to me so tight... that was the first time that i ever saw him cry... It was the saddest moment ever.... i love him so much. He is everything to me... it was scarry waking up without him next to me. I just layed therefor like two hours and it was just shocking. But shaun is strong... He is just everything... If you only knew him. Our last talk was like the best... He told me that he was sorry for all the things that he did to us... but you know what... that doesnt even matter... he was telling me how strong i was... and how that will be his way to keep going everyday he is there... knowing he has a good woman to come home to... i think that is what really broke me down. God i love him. 

                                    he amazes me so much everyday on how strong he is, how he gave his time to go when he didnt have to, i am so proud of him... He is such a strong person... and he is beautiful... he is just everything. If you know him you know what i mean.


  But he will be home next year... i just need to find enough things to do so i dont spend all of my time worrying about him... although i know i will... I am planning out the wedding... i have so much to do... I found the perfect dress too... OMG it goes with his class a's so good. But he kinda shrunk when i told him the price of it... but he said if it makes me happy... 

                                 Today i need to file my taxes... Not too fun huh? Yeah big money to be gone in like a few days. Damn bills... my cellphone will be back on here after i get em back. my taxes that is. lol. I  better go.

             I love you all,
                                     Jacqueline Just